Anything You Can Do
by Arayal
Summary: Okay, so a wandering priest gets tired of Kagome subduing Inuyasha so he decides to do something about it. Rated now for language, possibly adult content in the future.


Hello guys I hope you like this better than my LAST Inuyasha story that got NO reviews… Anyhoo, here's a new one.

Anything You Can Do…

"Sit!"

"Gyah!"

"Kagome!"

"Sit, boy!"

"Oomph!"

"Inuyasha!"

"But-"

"Sit!"

"Ow! Dammit bitch!"

"Sit sit SIT!"

After just a few hours of this annoyingly repetitive pattern a wandering monk, much like the one called Miroku, had developed a quite sudden tick above his left eye.

The hanyou was admittedly very provocative toward the strange young woman. Nevertheless, that did not give her leave to abuse the subduing spell she was so obviously fond of… at least in his opinion.

This wandering monk did not know the circumstances that had transpired in the past, nor did he much care. As a rule his only concern was the present. What he was about to do was purely out of spite and annoyance and perhaps a little male sympathy for the abused inu-hanyou.

The monk had not been able to get any rest since the motley group arrived, what with the hanyou and the younger woman screaming at each other every other minute. Then there was the added hassle of being startled out of leisure by whatever the hanyou crashed into when the girl shouted her subduing word at the top of her lungs.

Yes, this monk was quite aggravated and in the manner of humans, was going to take it out on the offender. Kagome was her name, he thought. So he gathered up his supplies and once he was sure they were all asleep, he ventured into the room they were all sharing.

He knew that the hanyou was probably a light sleeper given his genre, so the monk had brought three sleep sutras. The second was to keep the girl from waking and the third was for the fire cat. He wasn't worried about the kitsune because they were notoriously deep sleepers, especially the pups.

The biku entered the room and cast out the charms. No one in this room was waking up for a while. He made his way around the others to the odd young woman. He was relieved to see that she'd not removed her footwear. This would be so much more effective if no one noticed right away. He rolled the curious ankle garment down as far as he could and removed a vial of ink and a thin paint brush from his kimono and set to work. As he painted the complicated design he recited a spell and the power of the words wove itself through every brush stroke. When he was finished, he gazed in satisfaction at his handiwork.

He longed to observe the results of his deed, but decided to play it safe. He wanted to be far away in the morning in case any unforeseen consequences should arise. He removed all traces of his presence and left everything as he had found it. He was worried about the hanyou's sense of smell, but he covered his scent by dusting a strong smelling powder over everywhere he had been, being careful not to get any directly on himself.

The monk left a good portion of money under the innkeeper's desk and atop it two notes, then he strolled to the stables and picked a fine gelding to carry him far away.

"So long hanyou, I hope you appreciate what I've done for you. Keeyah!" he nudged the horse and it took off at a gallop.

Inuyasha's eyes snapped open from the deepest, most restful sleep he had experienced in a while. From the light filtering through the drapes, he guessed it was midmorning. Far past the time he normally woke up.

There was a pungent odor on the air, and it was beginning to make him lightheaded. Inuyasha didn't dare sniff any deeper for fear of losing consciousness. Strong scents were hell on his sensitive nose.

He vacated the room as Kagome was stirring and shook his head to clear the smell away. What the hell was that? And how had it gotten in their room?

Inuyasha soon discovered that it wasn't only their room—the entire inn was steeped in the mysterious odor. Not one to take things at face value, the hanyou was immediately suspicious. This entire thing reeked of a cover up—in more than one way. Someone was disguising their tracks because they knew he would be able to pick up their scent otherwise.

When he voiced his concerns, the others laughed them off, calling him paranoid. He huffed and jumped into a tree, far above the offensive smell.

"Katsui-jiisan! Katsui-jiisan!" One of the stable boys came running through the courtyard, calling the inn-keeper's name.

"What is it lad?" the elderly man squatted and tried to calm the child.

"It is Kami no Kaze, Jiisan. He has been stolen!"

"What! Someone has stolen my fastest horse?"

"H-hai, sir."

Inuyasha's ears had pricked up at the commotion. Why would anyone steal a horse unless they were trying to get away from something quickly?

"Oh dear, I must tell Yuki about this!"

The old man hobbled into his establishment and to his desk where he discovered two sheets of coarse parchment, each folded neatly in half and boasting beautiful calligraphy. He opened the one that had his name on it. After reading the words within, his eyes widened and he knelt to look under the desk. Sure enough there was a pouch with several coins—more than enough to replace his horse.

The second paper was addressed to the hanyou that had spent the night. "Inuyasha-san!" he shouted, rushing back to the courtyard.

The young half demon dropped from the tree right in front of the innkeeper. "What is it old man?"

"The-the monk stole my horse."

"Keh, not surprising," Inuyasha muttered, casting a dubious glance at Miroku. Who remained stoically silent.

"He left money to pay for it. A lot of money. And-and he also left a note for you." Katsui's gnarled old hand held the paper out to the hanyou who grabbed it away immediately.

He read the note quickly and when his eyes rose to meet the expectant ones of his friends they were wide with bemusement. His stare zeroed in on Kagome, who soon became uncomfortable under his unwavering gaze.

She approached with concern, lifting a hand to touch his arm. "Inuyasha?"

"Sit," he said softly, but with unmistakable command.

The next thing she knew, her right leg had flown out from under her and she was landing butt first on the hard, unforgiving ground.

Her startled eyes once again met Inuyasha's and the shock slowly melted out of his to be replaced by dawning realization and a growing ecstasy. He threw his head back and from deep within came a great, honest-to-goodness laugh that shocked all observers even more than the girl sitting in the dirt at his feet. Not the least among the surprised onlookers was his comrades.

"I'll be damned," Inuyasha murmured, amusement still glittering in his amber irises, after he had stopped laughing.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome's voice wavered, her befuddlement running deep. Her tailbone was still smarting, but far outclassing the pain was the dread of exactly what this situation implied.

Kagome concentrated on Inuyasha's amusement filled face and anger slowly joined the bone deep shock on her own. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME BAKA?" she demanded shrilly.

"I didn't do anything. That monk who stole the horse did. Someone finally realized how unfair this fucking leash is," he explained smugly, grabbing the prayer beads around his neck. "Here, read it," he handed her the note, and she snatched it out of his grip viciously. The following is what she read:

Inuyasha-san

Yester-evening I became quite aggravated by the abusive manner in which your friend used her spell of subduction. Such a powerful spell was not meant to be handled in an idle way. I sensed that she was in no danger from you; therefore the rosary should have been removed. This leads me to believe that it is in place solely for the power it provides for the subduer.

Your friend should know that whatever she does will come back to her tenfold. So, I have gifted you with your own spell of subduction. Unfortunately, I was unable to remove hers.

Kagome, if that is your name, I know you will be having a look at this so I should tell you that I only mean to teach you a lesson. Once you find out where the spell has been cast, do not attempt to remove it. Only your hanyou can do so. Learn some humility girl for you are not always in the right!"

Inuyasha-san, the charm is on her right ankle and the magic word is, ironically, 'Sit.' Instead of forcing her to the ground—that would be too much pressure on her rather delicate human body—her right foot is simply forced up and her legs go numb for a short while.

Inuyasha-san, I do hope you are appreciative of my efforts. I try my best to assist those in need.

Sincerely, A sympathetic monk.

Kagome read and reread the note, her expression disbelieving. Dropping the stationery, she bent her knee and rolled her sock down. She glared at the offending mark encircling her ankle. Patently ignoring the priest's warning, she tried to touch it. A small magical/electrical shock was her punishment. It was beautifully intricate with lots of weaving lines and ancient characters. The beauty, however, did not keep her from wanting it gone. Immediately. She stood and addressed her hanyou seriously, trying to keep the anger out of her voice, and in fact, injecting a little sweetness.

"Inuyasha-"

"No," he interrupted flatly.

"Inuyasha," the banked temper sparked in her blue-grey eyes at his unequivocal negative

"No. Fucking. Way," the amusement never left, though he still kept his tone flat and unyielding.

Fed up, she pulled in a breath for her usual way to get him to listen to her—'Sit' him into submission.

"Sit," he commanded succinctly, before she had even finished taking the breath. This time the spell knocked the wind out of her. Well, if she was going to be down for the count, so was he.

"Don't do it, Kagome. Unless you want to make this a battle, you'll hold your tongue for now."

"Grrr!" her growl was remarkably convincing for a human. Their glaring contest—well glaring on her part, smug gloating on his—went on for several minutes. Then Kagome let herself fall prone onto the ground with a submissive, "Ugh!"

"That's a good girl," he crowed gleefully, finally able to reciprocate on all those dog cracks she'd put him through. He held out a hand to help her up, and she reluctantly took it.

The spectators were finally able to breathe and were released from their shock induced paralysis. The villagers slowly returned to their tasks, no doubt itching to inform those who had not witnessed the exchanged.

Miroku approached and retrieved the forgotten note, wondering exactly what had happened to their friend. Sango read over his shoulder because she was near to bursting with curiosity. When they were finished, their eyes met in understandable confusion. Someone had actually sided with Inuyasha over Kagome?

At a slight tug on her kimono, Sango looked down to find the baby kitsune staring up at her with wide, frightened eyes. "What happened to Kagome?" he inquired in an exaggerated stage whisper.

It was Miroku who answered him, "A passing monk put a spell on her so she could be subdued by Inuyasha,"

"Oh, no! Who's gonna protect me now?" Shippo wailed.

"Shippo, you are not, nor have you ever been, in any danger from Inuyasha. I think from now on, you had better just watch your insults." Miroku arched a brow at the frowning child.

"But it's so much fun to tease him!"

"I know it is, however, now that Inuyasha also has a spell it would be prudent to ease your habit of poking fun at him."

"Fine," the kitsune sulked petulantly for a moment. Then noticing how downcast his surrogate mother looked, he hopped over to take his place on Kagome's shoulder. She was deep in thought on the bench on which Inuyasha had left her, yet still managed to smile weakly at the affectionate little youkai and hug him to her.

'What am I going to do now?' she wondered. The monk's message kept running through her head. She didn't use the rosary to get her way, did she? She didn't think she was always right. That was absurd. Obviously the monk was a chauvinistic woman hater.

Then Kagome remembered how they had been yesterday. She had been angry with him because they had had an encounter with Kikyo that morning. He had left their party once again to meet with her.

So they had gotten in a fight, and then ignored each other. The building tension had exploded once they arrived at the inn. He had been belligerent and defensive and she remembered she had sat him numerous times. More than she had in a while. It was an incredible stroke of tremendous bad luck that particular monk had been there that particular night.

Well, I hope you Inuyasha fans liked this one better. Pouts in a decidedly childish manner Oh, well, win some lose some. I'm crossing my fingers that I win with this one.


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